Friday, August 1, 2008

Growing Up...


I know it's cliche, but it seems like just yesterday I was holding Corbin in my arms like I am with Quinton. I just came out of Corbin's room after laying him down for his nap and I'm a little torn by the request he just made. After reading him his usual 3 books and then tucking him in Jeff and I usually sit in the rocking chair until he is asleep, but today as I sat in the rocking chair waiting for Corbin to drift off... he quietly sat up and looked at me and said "Leave my room Mommmy." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
You see ever since February when Jeff and I went to Hawaii for a week we have made it routine to stay in Corbin's room for nap and bedtimes until he asleep. This came about partly because of guilt for leaving our child for so long and wanting to reassure him (because he used to cry when we left the room) and because we had just weaned him from his pacifier and he needed some extra soothing before sleeping. Also, being 7, 8, and 9 months pregnant, I felt like these were precious moments to cherish before I had to "share" my time and attention with a newborn. But... there were times that I wished I could just read to him, lay him down, and walk out because I had so much to do! Especially because he would often fall asleep on me as I rocked him and it was very uncomfortable to hold a squirmy toddler being fully pregnant. Now that Quinton is here, naptimes are especially hard because if Q isn't asleep he has to be in the room with us... and that can get complicated. I've been meaning to change the bedtime routine for months now, but with so many other changes (i.e.- new baby, potty training, toddler bed, etc.) I didn't have the heart to change that just yet.
Well, Corbin decided he'd grow up faster than I want him to and came right out and told me today. "Leave my room Mommy." Words I was dying to hear, but now that I've heard them, my heart is breaking. He'll be 2 next week and he's decided he can do the bedtime thing all on his own now. I'm happy because this means he feels safe and comfortable enough to sooth himself to sleep in a new big boy bed, but I'm sad because this means my baby is really growing up.

5 comments:

Grandma TeeTee said...

Holly,
Just wanted you to know how much I enjoy checking out the blog and seeing new pictures of my kids. I especially enjoy the mini videos that bring my grandson's to life for me and I can actually feel like I'm there with them. You are so sweet and I love all you do for you family. See you soon.
Love, Christie

The Thomas' said...

Awww... my heart is breaking right along with you. What a sweet story, and I'm sorry your "baby" is growing up. Hayden has started having friends come to the house to ask him to play. Watching him walk outside hand-in-hand with another child to go "play" just ripped my heart out - I don't want to let him go. Can't they stay young forever?!

Mandy said...

Tears. They are dripping on my keyboard! I dread hearing those words too! Just know it means you are a fabulous Mommy because he is so secure!

Bryce, Anna and Porter said...

seriously got teary reading that... so cute and so sad... its hard because its what you want, but then not what you want... I keep looking at Porter and wondering where my baby went! i Corbin is such a good kid cause he has such good parents!

Tiffanie said...

growing up is hard.....hard for the parents. It's so bitter sweet to see them transition into their new stages of life.